Please, First, the members of the exercise team check this work.
After, all members of the exercise team have checked the story line text.
The second round will be audio team to check all parts of the text.
dear story line text team, I think you guys better check the grammar more thoroughly.
thank you.
thank you.
Thank you mbak nina for your advice, we will check the grammar as soon as possible
Hay team, some grammatical error, and strange 'term' are still used in the storyline, i.e opening house, religious movement (in paragraph 1 line 7). 'Opening house' may should be house warming and the term 'religious movement' sounds unfamiliar.
I see, you're right
Good Job Story Line team
But, I think you miss this reference
Ignasius Radix, A.P. Jati. (2013). Local Wisdom behind Tumpeng as An Icon of Indonesian Traditional Cuisine. Nutrition and Food Science, Emerald Group Publishing Limited 0034-6659, Vol.44 No.4.DOI: 10.1108/NFS-11-2013-0141.
Nice, thank you aulia, we will revise it, and add the reference.
For the story line team, I will give you some suggestions about your text. First, it is better for you to check about the use of Transitional Marker in your text. For example, Additions, you can use "moreover, furthermore, etc". For cause and effect, you can use "as a result, consequently,etc".
Second, it's better for you guys to concern in the Punctuation, You should be consistent to use punctuation. It is better to give Quotation mark ( " ) for the Javanese or Indonesian words, such as "Tumpeng","Sesaji/Sajen", etc.
Ah I see, thank you Dita, we will revise about transactional maker and punctuation. Your advice is so good
Actually, the text is little bit different with audio text in the begging before 7 dishes and in th ending. We should make it in line. We will delete kale and what about the onion?
One more eating without creaking the egg shell
Great, I see mas Surya. Actually we confuse about input the vegetables (re: Kale and onion) or not. Some references said that there is Kale in Urap, but other references did not mention it. Then about onion, it is one of flavor in Urap, but we think to did not mention it. So, we will revise it later. Thank you
That's good idea